Fun Quotes

Hope this makes you laugh. :)

In a large auditorium at university, the lecturer began by saying, 'If you can't hear me up at the back, put your hands up.' A row of hands went up...

Duct tape is like the Force; it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.

Two cows were standing in a field. One cow turns to the other and says, "Moo." The other replies, "I was just about to say that!!"

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was...resisting a rest.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Some poems rhyme,
And some don't.
There are three kinds of people in the world: people who can count and people who can't count. I would fall into the latter category.

A balanced diet is a chocolate chip cookie in each hand.

Life is like a corn dog, I don't know why, it just is.

If Life hands you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch as the world wonders how you did it.

I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Practice makes perfect... But nobody's perfect... so why practice?

My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and then it's gone...

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. -Oscar Wilde

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger...then it hit me.
75% of all Internet quotes are fake. - Abraham Lincoln.

I'm not talking to myself. I'm having a parent-teacher conference. -Homeschool Mom
To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." -Elbert Hubbard

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense." -Tom Clancy

"Failure? I never encountered it. All I ever met were temporary setbacks." -Dottie Walters

“Wear the old coat and buy the new book” -Austin Phelps

I’m not random; you just can’t think as fast as me.

Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to meet him.

Some people blame our generation. But do they ever stop to think who raised us?

Homeschooling didn't make me weird. I'm just a weird person who happens to be homeschooled.

My high school reunion happens every time I look in the mirror!

Knowledge is Power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be Evil.

Note: These quotes are from various places around the Internet. As far as I know, none of them are copyrighted.