Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Insanity

(After Gloria has asked six knock-knock jokes)
Gloria: Knock, knock.
Cecily: WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW??
Gloria: Little old lady.
Cecily: I don't have any little old ladies!!

Thor: He's got Africa- in his mouth; he's got Africa- in his mouth... (Leif eating a toy globe)

Sylvia: Camera card, please.
(Papa hands her his car keys)
Sylvia: Um... camera card, please.
Papa: *blink, blink* "Can I have your car keys..." "Camera card, please..."
Sylvia: Wow.

Sylvia: Have Thor sweep the floor.
Thor: *listening to a different conversation* YESSSS!!!!!
Cecily: *stares at him* Yes, you want to sweep the floor?
Thor: NOOOO!!!! *runs in the opposite direction*

Uncle Noah: If you don't want to know about it, stop talking about it!

Knut: Uncle Noah eats little kids! Oh, that's why you don't have any kids!
Uncle Noah: Yeah.
Aunt Marina: We ate them all already.
Papa: My grandpa always told me never to raise anything I couldn't eat...
Knut: My grandpa always told me never to raise anything I couldn't eat. I raised kids. I don't have no kids no more.

(While playing "Things;" Thor is "It")
Thor: *reading* Knut yourself.
Knut: THOR!!! You just gave it away!!!
Thor: Oh, wait... that was the name?

Uncle Noah: Who likes Uncle Noah's fire pit?
(everyone raises hands, including Cecily)
Cecily: Wait, what did he say?
Uncle Noah: I said, "Who wants to be burned up in Uncle Noah's fire pit?"

Paul: You know, that's wrong in so many ways, but it's still funny. Kind of like Knut.

Sylvia: His imaginary friend?
Mom: Yeah... or enemy.

Rosemary: We're the chicken pock girls! :D

Cecily (singing): Let us go to the house of the Lord...
Gloria: But it's not Sunday!
Cecily: True, but you can always die...
Gloria: Oh, yeah...

Thor: What other food do we have?
Knut: SQUIRREL!!!

Gloria: All I need is a roly-poly and I'll be happy for hours! Maybe.

Thor (eating a messy pulled pork sandwich): Pretty soon this may be dropping bombs...
Sylvia: Bombs??
Knut: Barbecued pork; same difference.

Knut: There's facepalm and headdesk.
Cecily: I know, but there could be a lot more, like face-plate...
Thor: Face-pulled pork sandwich...
Cecily: Or Face-book...

Cecily: Why is it "blimey cow" anyway? What does "blimey" even mean; is it a real word?
Sylvia: I don't know. For that matter, why "cow?"
Cecily: Someone was thinking of Chick-Fil-A.
~A little later~
Cecily: Slimy cow. But for some reason they wanted to have a "b" in there.

Gloria: Smart shoppers know. Stop n' shave.

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