Mostly Insanity

My apologies in advance for the inferior writing quality of this post. I am attempting to write 90% of a 25,000 word novel (emphasis on attempting... I'm not sure I'll manage it) in the next six days, and I'm saving all my "best" writing for that. ;) If this post is coherent enough to read, that will be a plus!


Latest news:

1. Knut has an accordion.

He is NOT, however, the only one who enjoys playing it! In fact, he practically has to fight "certain" family members to get a chance to play it at all! 

2. No baby yet! We have been asked about this numerous times in the past week or so... everyone's excited! :) The due date is Monday, but of course, there's no guarantee as to when he'll decide to show up. However, the next blog post will probably be a birth announcement! :)

3. Hmm... there's not much going on! Mom intentionally cleared the calendar for these next couple weeks. ;)

And now for some laughs and plenty of randomness!
(I am now fully aware of the fact that those of you who know me "in real life" will take advantage of this easy means of stalking our family, and that I and my siblings will be teased and our own words used against us many times in the coming weeks.) 

Mom: You may not realize it, but despite the talk of bazookas and the danger of being speared by a wooden sword, we really do live in safety. 

Sylvia: And do not interrupt me again... IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE. 

Cecily: Okay! Um... by the way... 

Sylvia: *turns to give her death glare* 

Cecily: *exits hurriedly* 

(Explaining the "disrespectful" way to ask a question in French) 

Mom: It's like, "Are you listening, you little twerp??" 

Mom: I know it seems a little redundant, but it's not.

(Cecily walks in and sees that the mirror isn't in the closet where it normally is) 

Cecily: Boy, the closet just doesn't look right without me in it!  

Papa (talking about "Paliacci"): It's an opera where everybody gets stabbed at the end and lives happily ever after. 

Knut: Yeah, Pop; we gotta keep you on your diet. 

Papa: Who says I'm on a diet!? 

Knut: I do. 

Mom: I usually keep Christmas gifts in the closet at the bottom of the stairs.... but it's full of food now. So I put everything in your closet. 

Papa: MY closet!? MY closet!? You put everything in MY CLOSET!? ...Why not somewhere that has more space... like YOUR closet? 

Mom: My closet is full of diapers! 

(later in the conversation) 

Mom: I need a place I can reach. 

Papa: There's not much you CAN reach, Short Stuff! 

Papa: I'm on a diet for the next three hours! 

Thor: *comes upstairs* 

Sylvia: Yes? 

Thor: Can I borrow... *pauses* 

Sylvia: What? 

Thor: Never mind. *goes back downstairs. 

Bjorn: Oh, my. He's weird. 

Knut: But I already KNOW my body parts!

Mom: Then do that quiz today! 

Knut: ... I know my body parts in English. 

Mom: You need to learn FRENCH body parts. 

Knut: You mean the French have different body parts?!?!

Knut: Est-ce que vous êtes grande? (Are you big?)

Sylvia: NON! Je suis petite. (No! I am small.)

Knut: I'm glad you agree. 

Papa: I got three things crossed off my list already! 

Mom: Wow! 

Sylvia: Were they, 'get up, get dressed, and eat breakfast'? 

Papa: No, they were 'make list, do something on list, cross that something off the list'. 

Knut: NOT possessive. PLURAL. 

Mom: Ohhh!!! That warms my heart, Knut! *happy sigh* He sounds like an intelligent and highly-educated young man. 

Mom: Here, have a dead piece of pie! 

Papa: Mom should be calling any minute! Maybe I should call her... 

(phone rings) 

Knut: Or sit by the fire and freeze. 

Sylvia: You're just digging a deeper hole for yourself! 

Knut: No I'm not! I started digging a trench, but then I quit 'cause I got bored. 

Knut: I'm innocent! Seriously! I was just sitting here... playing with a knife... 

Knut: If BJORN was playing with a knife, it wouldn't make HIM awesome. It might make him dead, but it wouldn't make him awesome. 

Sylvia: Cecily, say something amazing. 

Cecily: Hi. 

Sylvia: That's not amazing. 

C: Pnoy. 

Sylvia: That's not amazing. 

Knut: What did she say? 

Sylvia: I don't know, but it wasn't amazing. 

Mom: Comment allez-vous? (How are you?)

Sylvia: Je vais fatiguée. (I go tired.)

Mom: No; you'd say je SUIS fatiguée. (I AM tired)

Sylvia: Whatever. Je SUIS too FATIGUÉE to do stuff properly.

Mom: Somehow, we need to get you on board. 

Knut: On board? Why can't I water ski behind? 

(In science class at Lyceum)

Mrs. Phillips: Do you think putting the salt in a big pile in one place is the most efficient way to melt it? 

(Boy): No. 

Mrs. Phillips: What would be a more efficient way? 

(Boy): Putting it in the microwave. 

Knut: IT'S A MANIACAL DISEASED MONKEY!!!

Knut: *singing* The glorpes cook you and eat you! And Vern make his face to shine upon you; to shine upon you and be gracious, and be gracious unto you. And Vern lift up the light of ultra toaster among you and give you toast, and give you toast! 

(This one will make sense only to those who were in Lyceum Singers and know "The Lord Bless You and Keep You".) 

Sylvia: Short Stuff... Tall Stuff... Halfling... Hobbit... will my nicknames never end!? 

Knut: *singing* These are the nicknames that never end! They go on and on, my friends! Some people started...

Sylvia: Okay, I'm tuning you out now! 

Knut: ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY TUNE ME OUT! 

(At 10:57 p.m.)

Cecily: Sylvia? Sylvia? 

Sylvia: ...hmm? *pause* WHAT?

Cecily: Sylvia? 

Sylvia: You're sleep talking, aren't you... 

Cecily: Sylvia? 

Sylvia: You're asleep! Shush! 

Cecily: What? 

Sylvia: YOU'RE ASLEEP, SO SHUSH!!!

(trying to convince Rosemary to eat her dinner)

Knut: What would you do if I told you that this was ice cream? 

Rosemary: No! 

Knut: I'm very glad; you're a smart baby. Will you eat it anyway?

Mom: *reading* "A wise son brings joy to his father but a foolish son brings grief to his mother." ...Why is it always the father who rejoices and the mother who grieves? 

Mom: We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. 

Knut: But MOM, what if the drawbridge is up!? 

Jael: It's what, S-I-L-V-I-A? 

Sylvia: Yeah; you should know by now! 

Jael: *stares at Sylvia* S-I-L-V-I-A? 

Sylvia: Oh. My. Word. Wow... apparently I'm tired... 

Jael: You seriously didn't catch that? 

Sylvia: No... wow... oh, my goodness... 

Sylvia: Now who do you think has the BIGGER issue? 

Sophi: You. 

Sylvia: And WHY would you say that!? 

Sophi: I don't know. You just seem like the kind of person who would have the bigger issue. 

(Playing Pinochle)

Mom: Did you deal? 

Knut: Yes. 'Cause I'm awesome. 

Sylvia: Knut, you really don't need to tell us you're awesome every minute of the day. I mean, we know without being told! 

Knut: Yeah... but I just need to... uh... solidify the fact in your minds. 

Bjorn: Hi, Short Stuff! 

Sylvia: Hi, Cutie Pie! 

Rosemary: He's not Cutie Pie; I'M Cutie Pie! 

~a little while later~ 

Bjorn: Hi, Short Stuff! 

Sylvia: Hi, Cutie Pie! 

Bjorn: I'm not Cutie Pie! 

Papa: Hi, Ugly Pie! 

(At the store) 

Mom: The rule is "stay in pairs". 

Sylvia: ...Does my imaginary friend count as one of a pair? 

Mom: Yes.
(I'll get teased about this one for sure... especially by a certain young lady by the name of Sophia...) 


Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving, managed to stay safe over Black Friday, and are living in the joy of the Lord! :)

~Sylvia