Vacation pt. 1

There comes a time in every family's life when the workload just starts to become...too much.

There comes a time when the children become exhausted after splitting numerous cords of wood and start losing their minds...and then later these same children are found on the roof of their house, throwing frisbees and paper airplanes and shooting arrows, scaring their older sister half to death when she comes home. (Okay, so Mom was watching, it wasn't as dangerous as it sounds, and their sister was so used to their craziness that all she asked was "Children, what are you doing on the roof?" and accepted their answer with a shrug.) 

There also comes a time in every family's life when they begin to yearn for a long, 22-hour car ride in a crowded 15-passenger van...when they long to be squished in between car seats and suitcases, hearing the yells and watching the fists fly in the back seat as children argue over whether red is the best color in the universe or whether red is the best color in the universe. When the family is just craving to argue over which audiobook should be put on next and very much wanting to make a speedy stop by the side of the interstate because the baby's carsick.

Right. :P

Well, regardless of whether we were yearning for that 22-hour car ride in our stuffed and overstuffed 15-van, we decided to take it. Thus, we packed our bags (10 people have WAY too much stuff) and shoved them in the van (in between the trombone and the shotguns) and loaded up the mp3 players.

One of our mp3 players went missing right before we left, though...frightening Papa greatly.

Papa: I mean, think of that...21 hours of endless whining and complaining. And I don't think you kids could stand all that whining and complaining from me!

But it was found in good time, and we left early in the morning...only ten minutes after our scheduled departure time! I think that's a record...

It was too early of a start for Bjorn! 

We drove 11.5 hours the first day and stopped at a campground where we had rented two miniscule cabins, then headed to the Laura Ingalls Wilder Homestead in De Smet to watch the pageant that night.

We made better time than we had expected (leaving almost on time helped!), so we arrived almost an hour before the pageant began. At this point, I began trying to figure out the complex technology of hooking my laptop up to the Internet through Papa's phone to enable my email to download the essay of a friend who had a deadline that night and who wanted me to edit the essay...an experience which was highly amusing in many ways. 0:)

Knut: Pop, I'm supposed to steal your phone from you.
Papa: Why?
Knut: Sylvia told me to.
Papa: Tell her to stick it in her ear.
Sylvia: That's kind of the purpose of a phone... 

We discovered that cell service is not really of the finest quality way out in South Dakota, and text messages and emails don't always go through! It worked eventually, however, and much was learned through the experience. ;)

My siblings took the opportunity of the extra hour to go on a wagon ride and consume even more sugar until the pageant finally began.

Now, on the way up, for that 11.5 hours, we had been listening to Laura's books in the car, so the stories were fresh in our minds.

Unfortunately for us, this was a painful mistake.

The pageant covered most of These Happy Golden Years...or at least, it was supposed to. However, we found ourselves failing in our suppressing-laughter attempts as we heard lines like "Reverend Brown preached one of his wonderful sermons" or wondered at the new scenes added that completely contradicted the books. Many others probably thought the pageant marvelous...but to those who have the books half-memorized, we couldn't quite see it in that light.

This world is cruel to book purists. :'(

After leaving the pageant in tears of mixed anguish and laughter, we returned to the campsite.

I'm not sure WHO thought this would be a good idea, but we put Rosemary, Thor, Knut, and Sylvia in one cabin with everyone else in the other. Now, when Knut has been forced to stay up late, then get up early, then sit still in the car for 12 hours consuming mass quantities of sugar, very strange things happen to his brain.

If you think that you've seen Knut crazy at other times...you haven't. His brain jumps from one topic to the other with a rapidity not seen anywhere else in the universe, and will leave you dizzy, disturbed, and dazed, if you don't run away screaming. As Knut himself explained it,

"So it’s having all this energy and not being able to expend it, so my brain goes into overdrive and spouts off all his random stuff. Banana. Tomato. Toast. SQUIRREL!!"

He becomes exceedingly random at such times and sometimes begins to talk to himself out loud...

Knut: Wait, how did I not notice that before?
Sylvia: What?
Knut: The superheated electronic steam!
Thor: That comes out of his ears. 

Knut: Now I’m thinking of German engineers. Where did THAT come from? And now the invention of toothpaste…how…did…THIS IS NOT MAKING SENSE!!! And now toothpaste is making me think of sticks. Sticks come from trees, and trees are good! Trees are green. What if we painted the world green? Then everything will be weird.
Thor: No, we should paint the world red.  

Knut: Ooh, knot in the wood! Knot in the rope. You could hang me with that… …That’s slightly creepy. What else is creepy? Toast! …Toast is NOT creepy. Not sure how that got there. 

By some desperate chance, we managed to survive that night and packed up the next morning ready to hit the road again. Without too many more adventures (except that I had to face my phobia of passing on the highway...by passing approximately 15 semis [no exaggeration!] in the mountains...on steep hills and curves...at 75 mph...without dying), we arrived safely in Montana. 

To be continued...

Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5